Back in September, a lot of teachers at the school I was working at became sick. We all think that it was a little touch of the flu or sinus infections. Going to and from school, you could hear a symphony of coughing or sneezing on our bus. I took some regular medication, just normal DayQuil NyQuil stuff, and I was much better to go back to school on Monday.
Throughout that next week, I could feel my legs getting weaker. I would squat down and talk to my students then try to stand back up. I noticed that my legs were not able to push me up. I also noticed that when walking up and downstairs, my knees would buckle. One morning I fell trying to stand up and fell down the stairs taking Angel for a walk. I talked to a lady who was an American doctor, and she was concerned but wasn't overly concerned to where I needed to go to the hospital. She did ask me to go to and get some blood work done. I honestly believe that God put her. in my life at the right time. She was my angel in disguise.
The next day I went and did just that. Now every country is different in the ways of its medical system. In China, you have to see a specialist to have bloodwork (or anything) done. I saw a neurologist, and by that time, I could walk but had a lot of trouble standing up from a seated position. She was concerned and told I needed to be admitted because I would die if I stayed home. So freaking out a little, I did what anyone would do... I called my parents and my doctor friend.
I informed them of what was happening and what the neurologist had said. My friend said the doctor probably thought it was the same thing she thought of last night. Now at this point, no one would tell me what they were thinking. I did not research on Google because I knew if I read up on it or research possible outcomes that I would get scared. So I went home and packed a small bag, took Angel to a friend's house, got in a taxi, and checked myself into the hospital.
Over the next few days, I was bored. I had people from school stay with me, come by and bringing me food, visiting to keep me company, or checking up on me. I was so grateful for their company, and to this day, I can see that God put everyone into my life for this reason. I am still in contact with a few of the teachers who I know are lasting friendships.
Meanwhile, the doctors were trying to do some tests (one test a day) and were giving me medication through an IV. I had no idea what medication they gave me. In China, no matter your age, doctors do not like to talk to patients. At first, I thought it was because of the language barrier but then realized that it is just their custom. At this point, my parents were trying to get a visa to China but struggled due to embassies being closed for a holiday.
I was getting worse and worse after I was admitted into the hospital. One day I could not even walk from the bed to the bathroom by myself and that is when I got very scared. I tried asking the doctors around me what was going on but they did not speak English. There was one doctor who spoke a little bit. Bless her heart, she tried to explain what was going on when I asked her, but it was mainly a lot of translating through an app. I ended up giving the doctor my friend's information, and she was able to talk to her and explain some things to me.
As things began to worsen, my friend suggested going to Beijing to a westernized hospital that would be able to give me what I needed if the situation worsened. She finally told me what she assumed it could be, which was Guillain Barre Syndrome. This disease can paralyze your entire body and prevent you from breathing. When I found all of this out, I called my parents crying. They agreed with her about having me transferred and so I talked to my school.
My school was absolutely amazing! They saw the severity of the situation and talked to the doctors and with our insurance company to get me transferred to the other hospital. Some friends brought stuff from my apartment, I grabbed a little bit of food, and we got into the ambulance. We drove 13 hours to Beijing.
During these 13 hours, I went from scared to terrified. I could not feel from my waist to my knees, and I could barely walk with assistance. I thought at that time that I could possibly die. The thought of dying did not scare me, but the thought of never seeing anyone that I loved again terrified me. I asked mom and dad to pray, and they posted on Facebook was going on so others could pray too. People literally all around the world were praying.
During the 13 hour drive, I was in and out of sleep, but whenever I was awake, I cried out to God. I asked God not to let me be alone when I was at the hospital. I got to the hospital, got checked into the ER, then was admitted into a room upstairs. I had about 10 doctors, over the course of the next few days, running every possible test that they could to figure out what was going on.
I was so thankful to be in this hospital because I had a lot of people around me who spoke English. Since I was alone, they kept me informed several times a day about what they were doing and what was going to happen next. The doctors were able to rule out a lot of possible viruses and diseases. After they ruled out the worst ones, they started to give me IV steroids to see if that could help.
The day after I arrived, I had so many people who came by that I did not know. They knew a friend of a friend, and I was just happy I was not alone. These wonderful people prayed over me and kept me company. God was showing me that He was with me by having people all around the world who loved Him reaching out to me in support.
My parents finally arrived, and the doctors updated them even more than I had. The doctors explained there were a few more tests that they wanted to do, but they would be painful. At this point, I had had a few days of steroids, and I was starting to feel my legs slowly. We did the tests and they came back is showing a little bit of nerve damage in my legs. There was really nothing else they could do except continue to IV steroids.
I was released to my parents and I was finally able to leave and stay at the hotel. I had to finish as an outpatient for the remainder of the treatments. When I was released, I was still wheelchair-bound but I was slowly able to walk by holding onto something. I was excited to get out of the hospital and go to malls for lunch or dinner. It was really nice to be able to leave, knowing that I was slowly starting to heal. It was nice having my parents there with me. I tried to push myself to do too much but they noticed and allowed me to rest when I needed it. Even though I was the white girl in a wheelchair (que stares), I was happy to be able to roll around the mall and just look at things.
As I started to feel my legs, some back pain started to appear. This concerned me but my doctor assured me that this meant I was regaining feeling again. He told me to take some ibuprofen for the pain when it got bad. There was some swelling in my back, but it started to reseed slowly. I was uncertain of why all the back pain was happening, but I was gradually able to walk, pushing the wheelchair or walker around the hotel.
Finally, my doctor said that they had done all they could. He believed that I was doing well enough to go home and get back to work (I just had to take it easy). I was so excited! My friends from school came to Beijing over the holiday and met my parents. Dad had to fly back to work, but mom stayed a little longer. We ended up going to see the Summer Palace and a LEGO exhibition. They flew with me all the way back home and helped me out the first few days I was back.
I was determined to be able to resume working as much as I could. My school is fantastic and allowed me to go to school so I would be getting paid. My first week back, I was given very light duties, and I am beyond thankful for that. I tried not to push myself too much. I really had to focus and learn to look at signs that my body was tired. I was in more pain than I could ever remember, and I have a HIGH pain tolerance.
I was absolutely determined not to allow the pain to stop me from doing my duty as a teacher. I wanted to walk again and so I prayed like crazy and forced myself to walk again. I hid the pain from others at school and worked as hard as I could throughout the day. There were days that I cried from the pain when I was at home. I would walk Angel and go straight to bed from exhaustion. Like I said, I was determined not to let this mess with my work.
During this time I was able to go to Disneyland with my friends in Shanghai and we took my wheelchair (you can read about this trip in my previous post). Now I don't regret going on the trip because it was a blast, but I regret going before my body was ready. The trip took a lot out of me. It set me back a little bit and I was back in the wheelchair and the crutch more for the remainder of the semester.
I flew back to mom and dad for Christmas break. Flying makes things a lot worse, and so I prayed and prayed and prayed my entire flights back home to my parents. Air China and Emirates really helped me feel comfortable on the flights. The flight attendants went above and beyond throughout the flight to make sure that I had everything that I needed. I applaud them! I could see that God was giving me people to help through a situation that was difficult for me.
I saw some doctors to gain a second opinion as to why my back was still very painful and to see what I can do to heal faster. I found an AMAZING neurologist who was an answer to prayers. He specializes in weird Nero situations and has worked extra hours to figure out what was happening. He ran a second set of tests identical to what Beijing ran, just to see the difference. He was finally able to deem me free of a virus (or whatever it was) and has explained to me we are just focusing on healing the damage. So, I resigned from my job in January to take time and focus on healing my body.
Let me tell you, Never doubt your friendships. I had WONDERFUL friends who packed up my stuff, looked after Angel, took Angel as their own, shipped my stuff to me, kept me in thoughts and prayers, and continued to talk to me. Friends that I have kept through this entire situation, are friends that I believe will remain my friends for a long time. So if you are a friend who has helped me out during this time, I thank you from the bottom of my heart!
I passed my six-month mark of when this all took place. After doing months of physical therapy and exercises to getting a strengthen my back, I look back to see I have come a long way from arriving in December in a wheelchair. Although at times it does not feel like I am very strong or I am not recovering, I look back at pictures and remember at one point I could not even walk. I think wow... God did that. Only God could have healed me the way He has.
I have been praying nonstop for this entire situation that I could just be relieved of pain. I've had so many people pray over me to be recovered from this pain. Every time they do, God tells me it's not time yet. I have so many questions about why God told me to go to China if I was just going to get sick? Why I have not recovered quickly? Will I regress if I get sick again?
In the past two weeks, I have done a Psalm 23 study. The author, Matt, talks about how God wants us to find rest in Him. He talks about how God takes care of His children, and we should not want for anything. I fail at that. The planner in me wants to continue to work on my five-year plan, but it should not be my plan. It is HIS plan for my life. I am no longer running away from what God wants me to do but running into HIS open arms.
My story is not over yet. God stopped me from dying in the ambulance on the way to Bejing. I honestly believe what satan meant for evil; God is working for His good. I have an interesting testimony through all of this pain and suffering. I may have a lot of questions that never get answered, but I do know one thing.....
GOD IS NOT FINISHED WITH ME YET!
October 2019
November 2019
December 2019
January 2020
February 2020
March 2020
